The Desert

We've become quiet again.  We know.  I think it's because our hearts are crying out...and we don't want to be seen as whiners or complainers.  Because truly we're not.

Personally I feel that this is the hardest part of the process.  We are in a wasteland.  Parched.  Wanting refreshing and hope.

We have nothing we can do.  No more paperwork.  No more running around getting things signed or notarized.

But we also don't have anything to hold onto.  We have no picture.  We have no smile or eyes to look at.  We have no hope that someday THIS child will be in our arms...even if it's painful to wait for that day to come.  We are in no-man's land. 


Yesterday Marjorie wore one of our shirts (this isn't a plug, but you can still buy them, we have plenty)...and I was reminded of the verse we picked out.  This chunk of Isaiah 43 (check our the entire thing and some thoughts...it's crazy amazing)

¹⁸ “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.
²⁰ The wild animals honor me,
    the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
²¹     the people I formed for myself
    that they may proclaim my praise. 

I've been forgetting that he's making a spring for us in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  He didn't bring us to the dessert to leave us here.  He brought us here to bring newness to us.  

There is a lot of heart ache in adoption.  When you're on your 3rd adoption, there are some feelings and hurts that become familiar.  You remember what it felt like before to LONG for that little one. To be impatient.  To cry.  But vs. 18 says DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST.

God give us the drink that you promise.  Remind us of the cool waters and the newness you have for us.  I'm sorry for not seeing you in this time.  Help me to rest in your peace.